Motivating toddlers to dress and help themselves
"Every morning it's a race against the clock to get myself and my son going for the day. All the rushing is a little bit stressful for both of us. I would like some suggestions on how to motivate a toddler to help get himself ready."
"Lay out his clothes the night before. Then in the morning, you might try a game like saying; `Now it's time to put on your shirt, etc.'. It's hard to expect a toddler to get ready n his own, especially since at that age, children become easily distracted. Be patient, and hopefully, in time, you'll have no problems with coaxing him to get ready in the mornings."
"If you have as much ready for yourself the night before or before your son get up, that will help. Then tell him how important his help is - making sure he isn't required to do too much. He may feel like helping out more. It also may give the two of you a few extra minutes together and this could be `special' time to look forward to if everything gets done before leaving the house. Good luck!"
"My 6 year old in first grade can't even get himself ready yet. The major problem is TV. He gets interested in a program and if I get busy getting myself or the other 2 kids dressed, I lose track of time. Setting things out the night before does help. Then there isn't any last minute running for something that is missing. But he may dawdle over breakfast or get into some project. Time means nothing to him. He hasn't learned yet to worry about missing the bus. If he does I have to take him so it doesn't pay for me to let him miss it to teach him to be logical."
"Toddlers aren't very likely to get themselves ready for anything! How about try these ideas: Let him sleep in all or part of his clothes for the next day. Really!! Our 3 year old sleeps in the shirt he's going to wear the next day -- then all we have to do is change the diaper and pants, and away we go! Kids don't care if their clothes are wrinkled. Or, if you're leaving very early, take him to day care in his pajamas and let the day care provider dress him when he's more in the mood. Maybe taking some cereal and juice (the boxes with straws are great) in the car, rather than trying to eat at home, would work better. Or see if he can eat breakfast at
the day care provider's. And be sure to have his diaper bag/backpack ready to go the night before, along with coat, boots, etc."
"As you may have noticed, toddlers have no sense of time, or the reason for time. Toddlers also do not cope well under pressure. If your rushing around trying to get ready and are pressuring your toddler to get ready, your toddler will feel your anxiety and will practically freeze right on the spot. Stay calm. Try to do as much to prepare your morning, the night before. Try playing a relaxing but up beat tape or record in the morning. Give your son plenty of time to motivate himself and to get ready. Also don't expect too much from a toddler. Give him only small tasks to do by himself. He is still a bit too young to be expected to do things on his own."
"A chart with stickers and small rewards may help, but you wouldn't want to overwhelm him with too many tasks. Maybe the night before, you and he could choose and set out his clothes, shoes, washcloth, etc."
"Get up earlier. Have his things out the night before. I read an article in PARENTS MAGAZINE of a mom who had the same problem. She started their day with a short walk jus the two of them: rain or shine. It became their special time each day."
"Have you and your child pick out his outfit for the next day the night before. Then he would know what he is to wear for that day."
"Something that works with my pre-schoolers (ages 2 and 4) is to say `I bet you can't put on your socks (or whatever) before I count to 10'. Then I'll count fast enough to provide a challenge but slow enough to hope they can do it in time. This usually works well - it's a game to the kids. You could also us a timer or alarm clock and tell your child to do the specified task before the bell rings."
"My husband likes to watch TV in the evenings and I don't. I find it helps to have my 18 month old son `help' with things like doing dishes. Also I do my activities such as reading, needlework, etc., in his play area or bedroom. He likes someone around when he is playing and it is easy to interact with him. At this age it is more fun than being by the TV."
"Perhaps the two of you could pick out his clothes, pack his lunch and get mostly organized the night before. He could pick out his shirt, pants, socks, etc., and you could help him figure out what else he will need so he can get himself dressed and ready. At least, the two of you could start working toward his doing these things by himself. Then in the morning if his bag is packed and his clothes are laid out, it should be less stressful for you."
"I don't know of any toddlers that can get dressed alone, but our 1 year old and 2 1/2 year old help by putting things away or finding mittens or turning off the TV, etc. They need very specific directions."
"Since you are the one needing to set a deadline, I feel you need to take the responsibility for organizing to get you out the door in the morning. Toddlers don't operate on deadlines. Why not set up your son's drawers with 5 complete outfits every Sunday night. Include in each stack a shirt, pair of pants, socks, underwear, etc. Breakfast could be set up ahead of time in Tupperware containers too. Also, do as much as possible the night before. (I have also heard about parents letting kids sleep in sweats and letting them wear them the next day."
"I have 4 1/2 year old twin boys. One gets dressed and brushes his teeth and is ready for pre-school two mornings each week. The other one would stay in his P.J.'s all day if I let him - he is not motivated to get dressed. At night, I lay all the clothes out in piles for the next day. I sit down with the slow one 1 hour before we have to go and help him put everything on. I give him a lot of reinforcement for each piece of clothing he puts on. He gets a sticker on his board when ge gets dressed by himself. Start out earlier and don't expect too much of him. Kids don't like to be rushed."
"I'd suggest waking up 20 minutes earlier to get yourself ready. If he is already up then, take 5 minutes just to snuggle with him or talk together in a relaxed way. My toddler responded very well to a reward; eg. after your clothes are all on and breakfast is eaten you can watch some TV (Sesame Street, etc.). The short 5 to 10 minutes of TV gave me time to scramble for the baby bag, get myself ready, etc. Everybody wins!"
"Some things that have worked for us are: Get yourself and all his gear ready to walk out the door before you even get him up; that way all your attention can be on him. Let him pick out his clothes the night before, or better (if your willing) let him put on clean `sweats' to sleep in, then in the morning, all he'll need is shoes, coat, and breakfast. Even at 5 years, our son doesn't like to deal with buttons and zippers; pull-on's and pullovers are easier for him to manage. He frequently is willing to put on his favorite clothes himself."
"One of the best motivations is a sense of accomplishment. Help your toddler choose his clothes the night before. Have a lot of boxer style pants that don't matter if they are front or back. A shirt to pull over his head and socks to pull on and he's dressed. Compliment on achievements. Teach him that tags go in back and let him do it. Don't change it if it's on backwards, inside out, etc. He did it, not you."
"There's really not much a young toddler can do to get himself ready, at least unsupervised. Try setting your alarm earlier to get yourself ready before your toddler gets up, or at least before he needs to get ready. If he can dress himself, perhaps you could invite him to bring his clothes in your room to dress while you get ready, so you can urge him on. And you can save time by packing his day care bag the night before."
"On the days we need to go early, I try to have as much organized as possible the night before - even jackets and boots. You might also have breakfast (and your coffee) ready the night before. Anything that helps you feel prepared will cut the stress on you and help you to be more patient in coaxing toddler along. Even a 3 year old, in my experience needs a lot of reminders and help."
"Selecting clothes and setting them out the night before is something we have found helpful. Perhaps helping him with part of the dressing and encouraging him to be responsible for part of it (e.g. socks & pants, etc.) may speed things up. I know my 4 year old loves to dress in the same room as I do - but he often wishes me to help him with his dressing."
"The only thing that worked with my boys is getting up 1 hour sooner than need be so they could slowly awaken at their own pace. Setting their clothing out the night before encouraged them to dress on their own (as long as they got to help choose). Once out of bed (or even just before) encourage a glass of cold juice as the chill will waken him."
"Your toddler may be too young to dress himself. Our 2 1/2 year old still needs help: our 4 year old is just now is becoming a capable (if not always willing) dresser. Something that really helps in our house is to let the kids sleep in the clean clothes they've chosen for the next day. This has really saved us some headaches. Also, we have `I dressed myself' badges they can pin on their outfits. We've found that when our kids just don't feel like co-operating, there's always the consequence of dressing in the car - something they do rather quickly in the winter!"
"When my daughter was in day care she had to be there at 6:30 a.m. She and I would pick out her clothing the night before and lay it out. As it was so early I would dress part of her and she would put on her top. I feel 2 to 4 year old's need some help."
"Because motivating a toddler that doesn't want to be motivated is not an easy task and sometimes impossible. Try something different like going to bed earlier - reassuring a better nights sleep and up a little earlier so you don't have to rush about so much! Also do more of your preparations the night before - laying clothes out, making lunches night before - etc. This is a little more work at night but in the morning when your still sleepy it makes for a much calmer day altogether."
"I remember when I was little, my mom had the same frustration about me getting ready. I think what may work is to understand that your son has his own way of doing things and he may want to take more time in getting ready to go. We don't all conduct ourselves the same way, I know this is true for children too. Maybe if you get up earlier so he has more time to prepare for the day ahead, the mornings won't be stressful at all, the may even be very enjoyable."
"First, I suggest you do as much as possible the night before; such as planning wardrobes, lunches, etc. I would also bathe the night before. Then, get up 15 minutes or so earlier and don't rush. Talk about the routine the night before and again in the morning. Use an egg timer that rings, but I wouldn't expect much to be done by himself yet."
"I've heard that if dressing is a problem- dress the child in a sweat-suit for bed and he won't have to dress in the a.m."
"One of the children's columns in the Star Tribune addressed that question. They had two suggestions: one, to let the child go to day care as they are, or two: do dress the child in clean sweat outfits before bed and let the child go to day care in that same outfit. Because you don't need any more stress in the morning, I thought the second d suggestion was most helpful, and perhaps is less stressful for the child at daycare. The child, already being partly dressed, can go through breakfast and brushing teeth at more of a toddlers pace."
"I don't think a toddler is capable of helping himself get ready. However, it may reduce your level of stress to prepare for the morning rush by setting out both of your clothes the night before. You can even set the breakfast table. You may also need to allow your son to wake up more slowly. Perhaps some quiet play, while you are getting yourself ready, will allow him to get ready more cheerfully."
"The choices are (1) don't worry about being late, if you have that flexibility (2) race against the clock, or (3) get up earlier so it's not such a rush. I use a combination of all three - I mostly make sure that I'm all ready myself before my 2 year old wakes up; I've tried to make it so I'm done by 6:30 , he wakes up between 6:30 and 7:00 so that we can get to day care shortly after 7. It doesn't always work out, but it's od because I am fortunate enough to have flexible work hours. Getting him up at 6:30 required shifting his bedtime to a little earlier. At this point, it's easier to get the two year old up - than his 36 year old father."
"Switch bath time to mornings. They love to play in the bath tub and you can get hair and make-up done while you are in the bathroom plus you're also watching them."
"It would be frustrating for a toddler to help himself if he feels the need to rush, so first of all I would find ways to make the morning less stressful (for example, laying out your clothes and his before bedtime) then if he is given choices about what to wear (the red or the blue sweater) or his meal (Cheerios or Kix) he may feel more able to help himself get ready in the morning."
"I had this problem with my son. We now lay out clothes, and shoes, and anything he needs to take with him the next day, the night before. Whatever is not laid out does not go with him. This teaches great responsibility (clothes must be checked by you of course). This cuts down the time considerably in the morning. If he dresses himself and eats fairly quickly and there is some time to spare we get to read a short story together before going on our way. He is very motivated to do things quickly on his own so we spend a few unrushed minutes together reading a favorite story before our busy day begins. The first few days of this you may need to set the alarm 15 minutes earlier until you establish a good routine."
"Try by getting your son to start planning ahead the night before by getting his clothes set out. Also try a reward system if he is ready within the allotted time and a bonus if he's ready early. Try to make a `game' of getting ready for the day."
"Toddlers can't do too much - have him sleep in a sweat suit that he can wear the next day - try telling him `shoes on before breakfast'. It works in our house."
"Have everyone pick out clothes and set them up the night before - it works well at our house for both our 3 year old and our 6 year old.
Buy the child an alarm clock for his room - let him be part of setting it up, etc.
Get up earlier. Toddlers by nature are torn between dependence and independence. The stresses of starting the day may push him toward the dependent end of the scale. It may just require time. You can try incentives and rewards, such as a story or playtime (esp. with you) when everyone is ready on time."
"Don't give him more than he can do by himself. Set out clothes the night before. Give much praise at each new accomplishment."
"My son went through a stage at about age 3 when he wanted to dress himself. I regret that I couldn't let him experiment because of the tight schedule we were on in the mornings. As a result I think it took him longer to learn to do some of these self-care things, and he hasn't always been motivated. So what I would try, if I were you, is to get up earlier, and allow some extra time for your child to try to get himself dressed. But only if the child has expressed an interest. Otherwise, I would just continue to dress him to save time and wait for that interest to happen in it's own time. Put clothes where he/she can reach them, use clothes that are easy for a child to put on (like elastic sweat pants), and don't correct you child if she initially puts something on inside out or selects odd color choices. Just let her wear (within reason) what she selects - this will make her feel so proud that she did it all by herself."
"I'd suggest having a lot of `tasks' done the night before - i.e., pack lunch, set out clothes, bathe him - anything else that can be done - should! I find it much less stressful if I get up earlier and am pretty much ready when my kids get up. Then I am available to help them or guide them in getting themselves ready. Encourage him to do what he can - i.e. shirt, socks and you do the rest - it's faster and lots less painful. Lots of encouragement when he does help himself - perhaps a sticker chart with a star for each task he completes."
"Have your son decide what he wants to wear the next day after supper. He'll feel proud when he gets dressed in the morning because it was his decision what he wears."
"Make it a game. See who can get ready first! `Oh, I don't think you can get your pants on first. Oh no! You're too fast! I'd better hurry!' Then, as he reports gleefully from the next room on his progress, you will have to respond with enthusiastic cries of disbelief - `Oh my! You have your socks on already? I don't even have my hair done!' It can get tiring, but not as much as a daily struggle of wills, and it gets both of you off to a cheerful start."
"Get your clothes and his clothes out in the evening before going to bed and bag ready for daycare. You get up a little bit earlier and eat your breakfast and get dressed first. While you are getting ready have his bedroom door open and a hall light on so he is awakened gradually so he may not be so unwilling and un-cooperative. Now it's his turn to get ready. Try to be calm and pleasant."
"The evening before we make all clothing selections for the next morning and gather together any other paraphernalia which we need - both parents and child. This procedure can be made a part of the evening bedtime ritual. Even boots or shoes and hats, coats, mittens, etc., can be found (if necessary) and set aside to be easily retrieved in the morning. All of this can be made into an enjoyable evening ritual. Then breakfast can be more relaxed. (sometimes we even set out the breakfast dishes and cereals etc., to save that step.)"
"My daughter was and is a dabbler from toddler to 8. She used to be slow `just to get attention' I thought. But she like me daydreams and has great ideas which distract from the task at hand. She learned to get attention by not moving quickly: solutions - get up earlier, have more personal time outside the rush, and have a visual list pictures os shirt, pants, socks, shoes and fully dressed child in his room at his height."
"I don't think you can motivate a toddler much in this sort of situation. I'd get up 30 or 45 minutes earlier to cut down on last minute rushing."
"Try to lay out clothes to wear, in order of dressing, the night before. Also, set out cereal, set the table, etc. for the morning breakfast and line up the day's necessities, i.e. - coat, boots, shoes, backpack, etc. in the evening. It helps the mom, as well as child, to know what will happen the next day - less thinking and decision making required. I know a mom who has her daughter dress in the kitchen so they can be together a little longer - just put the p.j.'s in a pile."
( What advice would you most like to give about experiencing life with a new baby?"
Send your advice via E-mail to: Editor - BABY EXPERIENCE ADVICE )
