In the third month the growth of your uterus may begin to show; it is expanding out of the cradle of your pelvic bones. So your clothes may start to get a little tight and your feeling of "thickness" may reach a maximum. With the tired and sleepy feeling on top of these changes, and nausea (if you have it) seeming like it's been with you forever, this may feel like the time when something has to change. And for most women it does. Sometime toward the end of this month (or the very early part of the next), morning sickness pretty much ceases for most women, and the feeling of weight you've added begins to feel like a foundation for something good. Baby's actual size, mid-month. This Month for Your Baby Now that your baby has made the transition from embryo to fetus, with everything established that will be present in a fully developed human being, two major things happen. One is that the gender of the baby begins to be perceptible. The other is that she or he begins to be active — to move and try out his or her new and still developing body. Long before you can feel movement (of a being weighing only a seventh of an ounce at the beginning of the month), the baby begins to kick, turn his or her feet, curl and fan toes, make a fist, squint, frown, and do many other things — including practice breathing. (What the little one breathes in is amniotic fluid; this doesn't do any harm, since oxygen is coming through the now developed umbilical cord.) What your baby does is individual, done in her or his own way. Facial expressions are already similar to those of you and your mate. But movement and the appearance of gender aren't the only real events. There are important new refinements in the forming of your baby's body. Although the head is still very big in proportion to the body, the baby's face becomes much more beautiful, with more finished features and with eyes set much closer to the bridge of the nose. Early in the month, the eyes close and stay closed until the sixth month. Ears move closer to their final position on the head. The vertebrae and ribs start turning to bone. And the vocal cords reach completion. They won't be able to produce sound until your baby has the air of the outside world to work with, but they are almost ready. When you add to these facts the presence of taste buds, saliva glands, a finished roof of the mouth that will make it possible later to eat and breathe at the same time, and working digestive glands in the stomach, you begin to get a picture of how amazingly developed your still tiny baby (no more than three inches long at the end of the month) is by now. If You're Doing This Alone If you are a single mother-to-be who is experiencing pregnancy without a partner, a lot of potentially supportive people are out there to help you. A caring midwife (there are many, many of them around) or doctor can be of great support on her or his own, and may be able to connect you with others nearby who may greatly enrich this time for you. Yes, you can do it alone if you have to. But special companions can make a great difference for your baby as well as you, avoiding the exclusivity of contact that later causes some babies real discomfort in being with grown-ups other than their mothers. The wider variety of truly loving energy your baby can experience, in the womb as well as out of it, the better for both of you. Loose Clothing Your desire to look good may not diminish during pregnancy, but the earlier you get out of close-fitting outfits into looser clothing that gives you maximum room for breathing and movement, the more relaxed and expansive you'll probably feel. Don't skimp on comfort for the sake of appearance. There's plenty of attractive clothing that's comfortable and not restrictive — waistless dresses, shifts, overalls, drawstring pants, elastic-waist sweat pants, loose tops. Much of it will do after the baby comes as well. You don't necessarily have to go toward special maternity clothes as such. Nor do you have to wait until you're visibly "out there." The less you confine your expanding body, the better for your spirits. . . . And Natural Fibers More and more people are becoming uncomfortable with synthetic, oil-based fabrics for clothing. The "feel" and smell of plastics on the body aren't particularly vitalizing, and the place of petro-chemicals in the lives of children and babies is questionable. If you feel differently, fine. But if you have been feeling a general uneasiness about wearing man-made fibers, it's probably worth trusting. Natural fibers not only feel and smell good, but they "breathe", allowing air to get to your body and moisture to evaporate. Since pregnancy is a time when the body expels greater-than-normal amounts of toxic substances, this breathability is particularly welcome. We'll have more to say on this subject when talking about things to get for your baby. Do Your Kegels The narrow band of muscles in your perineum (between your vagina and your anus) will be called on to stretch tremendously during birth. If you start to tone these "Kegel" muscles on a regular basis as early as you can in pregnancy, you can avoid either the tearing of these muscles during birth or the need for an episiotomy. And the basic Kegel exercise is very simple and easy to fit into your life. If your tighten up your bottom as if to stop the flow of urine, the muscles you feel acting are the Kegel muscles. All you need is five minutes a day, broken up any way you like, of tightening and releasing these muscles. Some exercise instructors advise tightening for a count of ten and then relaxing for the same count. Others suggest a quick tighten-relax, tighten-relax sequence. But the main thing is to remember to do them.. You can do your Kegels practically anytime and anywhere — waiting at a stoplight, standing in line, brushing your teeth, you-say-when. But do them faithfully. It is so much easier to begin life with a baby without having the discomfort of stitches from tearing or an episiotomy. And getting your perineal muscles in shape with Kegels can make all the difference. Getting Some Good Nourishment (Part Two) In addition to what we've had to say about the basics of nutrition, we want to add this important grace note: Even if an "eat-your-vegetables-or-else" childhood has taken you away from them, pregnancy is a time when, if you give them a chance, green vegetables can make you a fan ever after. As you can see from the predominant color of the world's vegetation, greens and growth go together. And whether it's their beta-carotene (Vitamin A), iron, or added kicker of calcium, the dark greens — spinach, broccoli, chard, kale, collards and so on — seem to make a really major contribution to a healthy pregnancy. If you can't imagine really enjoying green vegetables, it's probably because you've had them in unappetizing, overcooked form. These are foods to enjoy barely cooked (sautéed Chinese or Thai style or lightly steamed). Broccoli, its white (but really green) relative, cauliflower, and spinach are also obvious salad-bar items, great mixers in the right proportions. Foods that seem "unlikely" right now may become amazingly appealing as greens begin to click in with your body. For a simple and amazingly satisfying salad, for instance, combine some finely chopped kale with some grated carrots. The sweetness of the carrots (especially if used liberally) does something really wonderful for the kale, a vegetable that's unfortunately in many people's "Oh, no" category. The stronger greens can also mix with lighter lettuces in elaborate salads. And while making a meal of salad has become a once-a-day standard for many people, there's also the option of making lightly steamed greens like spinach or chard an occasional main dish instead of a side one. Iceberg lettuce, while still the most common lettuce in restaurant salad bars (and American refrigerators), is the least interesting and nutritious of all the lettuces. If you haven't branched out until now, this is the time to try red leaf, butter, bibb, romaine, oak leaf, or green leaf, all of which have a lot more to offer nutritionally. And these days, ready-to-use packages of "spring mix" taste great and make it almost sinfully simple to put together a wonderful salad. Greens do a lot for the nervous system during pregnancy. We'd put them way up near the top of the list of good things you can do for yourself. "Try to eat healthfully, and also accept the fact that every woman's body handles pregnancy differently, and yours is doing exactly what it's supposed to be doing to produce a healthy baby. Remind yourself that you are a good person for creating a healthy environment in which your baby can grow." Massage One of the most positive things that partners can do for each other during pregnancy is massage. Loosening each other's muscles, and receiving the good energy flowing through your partner's (or friends') hands, can be a tremendous benefit. The loving energy and the feeling of well-being it provides will also carry in to your baby. You don't have to be an expert at massage or have a deep knowledge of anatomy to do someone good. Virtually any kind of rub is helpful. People are discovering that the more they explore touching, and feel the healing energy they can channel through their hands, the more comfortable they are when handling babies — to whom touch is so big a part of their first contact with parents. When In Doubt, Take A Shower Or Get In The Tub Every pregnant woman knows how good it can be to get off her feet into a warm tub. No matter what's been going on, it's almost always a really welcome break that relaxes your muscles and mind. And since cleanliness is one of the foundations of a healthy and enjoyable pregnancy, bathing is a luxury you can always feel free to enjoy. A lot of women make it a special interlude, with candlelight and some music. Showers don't get you off your feet, but they can be tremendously invigorating. While they are carrying away the grime of the day and whatever toxins your body is expelling to make a better environment for the baby, the way they break the water up into spray creates "negative ions" (extra electrons in the atoms of the air in the immediate environment) that have a tonic effect on moods. The only kind of bathing that may have some undesirable effects is prolonged hot-tubbing, which can make too extreme a change in the baby's environment and functions. "If it's an 'easy' pregnancy (no morning sickness, no bladder problems, no backache or swollen feet), rejoice in the experience and treasure each day. If it's a 'difficult' pregnancy (all or any of the above) remember it will be over soon, and the joy of having created and nurtured a new being will make it all worthwhile." Third Month Year Of Birth Contents | Second Month | Fourth Month Intro From The Beginning Home Page All contents copyright © 1991 by Crystal Press. Used by permission of authors. Neither text nor illustrations may be reproduced in any form, in print or on the Intenet, without permission in writing from the authors, John Milder and Candie Snow, who may be e-mailed at taimilder@yahoo.com. You may also contact us at that address to purchase copies of Year of Birth.